Friday, February 27, 2015

Of Ice Ghosts & Unlocked Passageways

I felt like a Popsicle: A subfreezing rocket of wind hammered my forehead every with every step I took during the Siberian Express snowstorm a few days ago. I turned a corner into the protection of some buildings and thought, 'Whew, so relieved'. But then, 'Relieved? It's still four degrees Fahrenheit!' Hey, I'm cold-hardy, but wow is this tiresome. And when you are a weather-spoiled Seattleite, you get to feeling like, right, this shit is just not even called for.

Attempting to escape the shrieking attempted murder of a -15F Abominable Ice Ghost.
Fruitless search for image credit. Please claim.

New York City feels like home to me in an old, deep way. I will write at some point about what that means and why it was necessary to come live here. But starting now, I'm hunting, collecting & cataloging this city rather than passively soaking it in. Because? Because I'm heading back to Seattle. One more glorious NYC spring, one more scorching NYC summer, then home at the end of August.

Getting knocked senseless by lethal Arctic weather definitely spurred this decision, its timing (to some extent), & made it easier than it would have been, but. But, there's this whole other thing. About that, if you're so inclined, after the jump. 

Okay, stuff you'd find anywhere, only the New York version: Weather. Renting a place or going to the doctor. Getting certified for a job, that sort of thing. Like most people, I'd wish that stuff were as mild a pain in the ass as possible. In NYC, these things tend to be painful, fraught, competitive, expensive, occasionally just exasperating. I've routinely had to get over myself, feeling lame & inadequate in the soaring & unbreakable Gotham.

And I do get over it. I've taken lots of heart, I've bucked up & plowed ahead. But when I got home from that ice storm & warmed my bones, I started thinking about the complex & competitive sport of NYC affordable apartment hunting. My kid Tony is moving back Stateside in Autumn - how do I help him navigate this process when I'm still so lost even on my own? Everything I understand so far makes it seem damn near impossible anyway, very long & complicated. We'd have to be lucky. It'd be a rocky process that could take the wrong amount of time, and the possibility of failing is too ominously realI want to do better for my kid than an iffy, dread-filled, Ice Ghost-inhabited welcome home.

And of course, I can. With a somehow magical sip of coffee, BAM, I just dropped the whole thought. A lock in my head loosed up & slid free. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a path to Seattle (hey, there's Mt. Rainier). The dread vanished. And as a sweet bonus, a future of New York winters just fell away like a stack of angry calendars tossed from a skyscraper. 

When I let New York fall away as Tony's starting point, I was vastly relieved and the world felt like it was falling into place. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I knew where to begin.

The East Coast & New York, as ever, ain't goin' nowhere, and I can go splash around in them (and head to Europe) when the weather suits me & steady on my feet in Seattle. Tony can experience those things too, as he likes, but he'll be launching himself out of his mom's hometown.

Image found at lovethispic

And I am so excited for a MILD WINTER I could collapse with joy. :D